#this part killed me #absolutely killed me #john doesn’t care about the fact that sherlock proposed to get what he wanted #he doesn’t care that he’s about to hurt mary’s best friend #he’s shocked #because his best friend thinks he’s unlovable #he thinks that there is something wrong with janine because she fell for him #you can tell how hard he was trying to be normal for her #and he’s still baffled that he actually managed it #he doesn’t know how many people love him #exactly the way he is #and i think that’s what john’s look is all about #he told him in the sign of three #he’s one of the two people he cares about most in the world #but he still doesn’t believe that anyone could actually love him #especially not for the most unpleasant #ignorant #rude #and all around obnoxious arse-hole #that he thinks he is