WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?!??!??!

It’s quicksand. Quicksand is much thicker than water, which is why things sink so slowly. By that same logic, one can walk on its surface if you go fast enough and with little enough pressure, like skipping a stone on water.

THAT IS FANTASTIC

Non-Newtonian fluids, everyone.

As a child I believed that quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem in my life than it has turned out to be.  Little did I know I could defeat it by simply waddling like a penguin.

Same here! The 80s gave me unrealistic expectations on how much quicksand I would encounter in my life.